Friends

I have so many new close personal friends just waiting to help me. Tears readily stand by and can flow at a dog food commercial. Anger holds my hand and helps me throw something. Sadness smothers me and makes me moan and sigh. Pain does the same thing. Laughter attempts to help me as does my husband telling a joke but they both get slighted by the moan and sigh of sadness and pain. Exhaustion is a prevalent friend accompanied by brief moments of energy that makes me tackle a small pile in the house. Then I am worn out for the rest of the day. Numbness seems to be close friends with exhaustion. I think it tries to protect me from everything else. Hurt reveals itself as the numbness steps away and sadness and pain return. I keep reading that I have to be friends with all of them in order to grieve. I really don’t want to be friends with any of them. How can I embrace grief when I can’t stand its touch?

I believe in the revelation of Jesus’ resurrection, “O death where is thy sting?” We were never meant to feel this sting of death, smell this stink of death, embrace the friends of death. Not until we became a broken world that could only be healed by Jesus’ blood. I can’t wait until the sting, stench, and friends of death are no more. But I have to embrace them to heal. This is where anger rears its head and pain cuts to the core.