Sunday, August 30, 2009

I had dinner at Mom and Dad's tonight. They were having a small dinner party for their neighbors' birthdays. As Mom always does when she is entertaining, she prepared a beautiful meal and table. She used their dining room. As we were serving ourselves in the kitchen and making our way into the dining room, it occurred to me that this was the first time I was eating in there since my last dinner with Mike (and his last dinner) the Sunday before his wreck. It shocked me so much that I said it out loud, without knowing the ramifications of that statement. Mom and Dad had not eaten in there, either. I did not know that. I thought it was just me. Needless to say, there were a few moments of holding our breathes and shedding a few tears. I blurted out that fact without thinking, right in front of their guests. Thankfully, their neighbors are more than just neighbors, they are friends. They have been wonderfully supportive to our family. They were understanding.

I have already anticipated other "firsts" without Mike, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those are the obvious that we all know will be difficult. But the everyday, or lesser events are no longer just that. They are everyday without Mike. No, we did not see each other everyday, but at least we were in the world together. I cannot express how crazy, ridiculous, frustrating, maddening, and incomprehensibly hard this is. So much so that at times I am numb. There are times I want so much to just grab and hold onto Laura or Hunter just because. Just because.

I am compiling more Mike memoirs for future postings. Please feel free to forward them to me at rmw4jc@yahoo.com

Love,
Rhonda

Tribute to Mike

As I read back over this, I realize that one little tribute is hardly enough to sum up Mike and how I feel about him. However, when I wrote this, just before the Memorial Celebration, it brought smiles and happy thoughts of him. I hope you enjoy it.

Read by Rhonda, May 3, 2009, at the Mike Watson Memorial Celebration.

As most who know me and my husband can certainly attest to this, I do not like to dress up. I like to be comfortable. Given my chosen profession of a Paramedic and nurse, I have worn a uniform for years. When I am off work, I like to be comfortable. Heels were created by the devil as far as I am concerned. My husband actually thinks I am crazy if I wear heels or dress up excessively in lieu of comfort. In fact the older I have gotten, the less I have cared about dressing up, make up or the perfect hairstyle. I was never too keen on men who preferred the dress up type of girl. But today is a little different.
Over the years, I would once in a while wear a cute outfit, do my hair really well or put on a little make up to look, well, pretty. Most of the time I was so ready to go home, change and take a shower. There were few exceptions. In my brother’s presence was one of them. He would actually tell me I looked cute or pretty or I should dress up more often. Maybe it was because Mike was a flirt and family was no exception.
Dad’s parents used to give us money for Christmas. One year when I was about 8, I found a beautiful rabbit fur coat I so desperately wanted. It was expensive and more than a little girl who is going to quickly outgrow should have for Christmas. My brother knew how badly I wanted it so he gave his Christmas money to mom and dad to use with mine so I could have that fur coat. He liked his little sister to look pretty. And he thought she was.
Few people have ever made me feel pretty. Not because they have not tried. It just has not been a big focus in my life. So as I stand here today in my pretty, albeit, loud dress, I am feeling and looking pretty for Mike. He liked me that way. It was special to him. If you see me dressed up or wearing my “Mike mascara,” it will be in some way in honor to Mike. And as a girl if you have ever been hugged, kissed, or loved by my brother, you are pretty. He loved all girls. I am so lucky and blessed that he flirted with me first

A day in ICU

I had reached a point of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion, a breaking point. God sent me to the ICU... Intensive Christ Uplifting. I went to the Deeper Still Conference by Beth Moore. She was accompanied by Kay Aurthur and Priscilla Shirer. There were many points to this conference. So many women there, and everywhere, have "issues" and so much to deal with. But the focus of this conference was not about "our issues." It was about living in the power of the living spirit of our Lord and Saviour and uplifting Christ during all of our life experiences. I cried, I laughed, I sang, I celebrated. I felt intense emotion and healing. A day of Intensive Christ Uplifting will handle any ailment or issue. It may not change our ailments but is changes our response to them. The beauty of all of it was uplifting Christ no matter what our circumstances and seeing over 11,000 women do the same thing. Laura, her sister Heather, and her mother were there, also. I also shared the experience with 2 wonderful godly friends, women with their own stories and struggles.

My point is that we all have issues and life struggles. Our grief has been a real, life-changing challenge. Whatever your challenge, spend a day in ICU, Intensive Christ Uplifing. When you uplift Christ, He CARRIES you and keeps you out of a constant state of emergency.

Please, don't hesitate to post your Mike memories here or email them to me at rmw4jc@yahoo.com.

Love,
Rhonda