Ties that Bind

I am amazed at what brings people together. We all have interests, situations, or events that cause us to forge bonds that may not have otherwise occurred. I'm not so sure I like mine. It involves tragedy and loss. I have at times thought the movie title, "Death Becomes Her" fits me. Not very crazy about that. But I can't escape it. It is all around me and has touched some very close friends and family, as well as forged the bonds as previously mentioned. What do I do with it? How can something good come out of these horrible situations? And embracing them only causes more pain and rips open these jaggedly healing wounds. But denying them denies the very life that was claimed and that is not an option. I get discouraged daily. I want to help those who are dealing with loss. And, frankly, sometimes I want help. I want someone to just say, hey, been thinking about you. Thankfully, I do get that from wonderful people and I am grateful. But the world moves on no matter what and forgets me, my loss, others' losses, and that is just unacceptable. So, what do I do? I've asked that for nearly four years. I move on. In fear. Afraid to reach out to someone else. Fearing stirring up too much pain for them, for me. Fearing I'll say the wrong thing. Fearing they don't really care what I have to say. Fearing I have nothing to offer. Fearing investing in someone that I risk losing. Fearing...you get the idea. Lots of fear. Yet I go to bed every night thinking of these bonds and that these bonds are people, just like me. I can't get them (you) out of my head. I carry each and every person and situation with me. I could name names but I do not want to put anyone on the spot or make anyone uncomfortable. Rest assured, however, that I am aware of many situations for which I pray daily and chances are, if you are reading this, I am aware of what you have been through. I guess it's my thorn, so to speak. I've asked God to take it away from me, but alas, he says his grace is sufficient for me and this thorn, and something about being made stronger in our weaknesses. When I think about it, while I may not like how these bonds were forged, I would not break them for anything. These bonds have introduced me to awesome people. And those that God brings together, no man can separate. I continue to throw this out there. If there is any way I can pray for you, please do not hesitate to email me. rmw4jc@yahoo.com From Philippians 1, as Paul writes while he is in prison. Prison can be whatever persecutes you and causes you to back down from speaking God's word, which is life, to others. One of my prisons is fear. 18. ...Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19. for I know that through your prayers and God's provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. 20. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23. I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ (and all the saints gone before me), which is better by far; 24. but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26. so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ will abound on account of me.